Hey T Swift!
It’s us. You know, the tall, “handsome as hell” bad guys who “do it so well.” We’ve been following your career and music for some time now, and our appreciation for you just continues to skyrocket. It’s funny, we never thought we would say that, but you have no idea how much easier you are making the game we love to play!
We are so thankful for the influence you have gained with teenage girls and for the way you are using it! Most girls we encounter know every word to every song you produce. We certainly understand the power of music. It’s incredible how the words you sing sink deeper and deeper into their psyche and shape their own desires!
As you know, we used to be marginalized by society. Girls used to be leery of our type. Sure some would still choose to not listen to advice to stay away from guys like us, and choose to instead run to us in fits of rebellion. Even then, though, we would still have to work hard to make them believe that we actually cared about them and that this thing would last forever. But you have so wonderfully romanticized the very thing that used to garner that negative attention. I mean, your new song, “Wildest Dreams,” is pure gold!
Of course, if girls truly thought through the actual story of this song with sober minds, no way any of them would willingly sign up to play the lead role! I mean, what girl really desires to be used by some guy for a sexual fling only to be dropped afterwards, no matter how hot he is!? And the way you falsely typify the male psyche…just the icing on the cake. If girls only knew that young guys who have used girls like that never remember them “standing in a nice dress, staring at the sunset…with red lips and rosy cheeks,” but actually as stars in the porn sets of their minds… But somehow you have done it. Somehow you have found a way to actually romanticize being used and dropped. All we can say is thank you, thank you, thank you! Our work in playing the game we love has gotten so much easier. Young ladies are actually seeking us out now. And we simply can’t give you enough credit.
With your help, we now believe we could feasibly put off growing up at least another 10-15 years! And coupled with our culture’s push for cheap and easy on-demand abortion, we may never have to take responsibility for our actions again! We are proud to partner with you in attempting to achieve further “liberation” for young women everywhere! 😉
Thanks also for keeping the hardcore breakup songs coming. You know, to help them cope when the romanticism has long since faded on the other side. Also to help them keep believing that a cycle of broken relationships is all the norm and just a part of being young and reckless! We love nothing better than broken girls who have grown numb with bitterness and struggle with identity issues! Anger just leads to further rebellion and recklessness. “Nothing lasts forever,” right? Haha! Awesome. Use that line as much as possible as you continue to write new songs.
So please, keep up the excellent work. We are thankful for the way you continue to use your massive influence!
Sincerely Yours,
“The Players” (as you so innocently and affectionately refer to us)
OK, parody over. Now, a message from me, a father of 2 young girls:
Hey young ladies, you want to know what truly is “handsome as hell” (Whatever in the world that phrase means, anyway)??
Guys who care about things like character, and who put maturity on display
Guys who actually see you and not a potential fling or fleeting sexual fulfillment/conquest
Guys who aren’t afraid of commitment and who are actually seeking it
Guys who are not driven by ego and outward measures
Guys who hate the guys Taylor usually sings about and all they stand for
Guys who have his AND your future in mind and who don’t just live for the moment
Guys who view your hearts as treasures to win, not disposable objects to manipulate
Basically, guys who love Jesus more than they will ever love you.
Young ladies, be careful of the songs you hear and the inherent assumptions within. Some of the most dangerous messages are wrapped in innocent-looking packages that do not necessarily contain “explicit” lyrics.
I love you and am praying for you.
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